Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Teenage Self

Lifestyle Cabarete Tiny pirate Blog Claudia Batchelor Teenage SelfIf talking to oneself is a sign of madness then I am certifiably insane. I talk myself into escapades, (which then lead me to having to talk myself out of trouble), to the characters in my head which I create for my stories, when I need courage, in times of stress, when I’m happy, and to beat myself up when I've messed up.

It has been said that if I was in a room by myself I would start a conversation with the wall. But one of the things I wish I could do right now is to talk to my teenage self. Because she was an isolated, angry nightmare and had she received some guidance, life would have been a lot easier I’m sure. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could do this? And if so, what do you wish you could tell your teenage self?

For me, there are too many things that I wished I had known then, which would have saved me excruciating anxiety and precious time. And instead of idling away hours on what I now know to be futile problems, I could have done something more useful. Like learned to play the guitar, or read palms. Or be a better pickpocket. ( A girl's gotta eat!!)

Lifestyle Cabarete Tiny pirate Blog Claudia Batchelor Teenage SelfLifestyle Cabarete Tiny pirate Blog Claudia Batchelor Teenage Self

If I could talk to my teenage self I would tell her that life will get easier. And every problem has a solution. With the exception of death and taxes. That failure is going to lead to success because it means you have tried. And a lot of failure means tenacity... Or stubbornness. And she should learn to know which is which, and know when to walk away. She should also know when to wear blue eye shadow. (NEVER!!)

I would soothe her and tell her to stop trying to fit in- and not to be upset about being weird or different because those are the attributes that will become her greatest assets. I would remind her that she isn't there to fit into everyone else's world, she is here to create her own. And with that, she needs to learn to accept others because one day that outsider was her.

I’d let her know that her loneliness won’t last forever and her real friends will become family. That broken hearts heal and will make her a better version of herself. And that eventually, some of her greatest loves will also become her greatest friends and although it may not seem like it at the time, breaking up will have been the best thing to have happened to you both. I will emphasise that being kind will open doors she never thought she'd ever walk through. I would tell teenage (nightmare) Claudia that not everyone is against her. Because sometimes people say 'no' simply because they love her and likely know better than she does. And this will continue throughout life.

I would say that losing someone is heartbreaking but those broken pieces of her heart will be filled by parts of that person forever, so they will always be with her. I'd want Claudia to know that every emotion should be felt and embraced. Because we are only truly alive when we are able to feel everything- good and bad.

I'd want her to know that the bad times never last, just as the good times are also moments to enjoy. And the good times are stored in your memory so that they can be used to lift us up when we hit the low points. I would ensure that Claudia made it her life’s mission to always be creating good times. I’m pretty sure she would have listened! Because we can't laugh enough or have too much fun. Life, should always be taken a little less seriously.

I would like her to know how important it is to make time to listen to everyone. Because each and every person she will meet will have something to say, something to teach, something to aspire to and something to take away- even if it's a negative because that too will provide a valuable lesson. I would also remind her that her words will one day hurt someone as much as a physical attack, so she should use them wisely.

I would tell Claudia that no matter what, when she does something wrong no-one else will feel as bad as she will. And that apologising is the first thing to do to make amends and paves the way for forgiving herself for her mistakes. Just as accepting an apology will open up the doors to forgiveness, which is one of the greatest forms of emotional freedom a person can have.

I'd want my teenage self to know that she didn't need to hide her fears, rather, she should not be afraid to share them with other people because that is the first step into overcoming them. I'd like to tell her to take each and every opportunity that came her way, even if at the time it didn't seem like it made sense. Because only by exploring life will she know what she wants out of it. Only by making mistakes will she know how to make things better.

Lifestyle Cabarete Tiny pirate Blog Claudia Batchelor Teenage SelfLifestyle Cabarete Tiny pirate Blog Claudia Batchelor Teenage Self

I wouldn't have to tell her to travel and be adventurous because I think those traits were developed in the womb... But I would like to tell her that sometimes, having roots is just as meaningful and important as wild expeditions. And I would want her to at some point, stop running.

I would ask her to take time to look at things that are not obvious. Like the old couple feeding the ducks in the park. They have a lifetime of stories. The ticket inspector on the train, the one that always wears a huge smile because through his work is the only human contact he has before he goes back home to his empty flat. The lemonade seller who pushes her trolley in the fiercest heat, each line on her face a testament to her sacrifice for her family. And I would emphasise that people and experiences will touch her and shape her forever, more than any possessions ever can.

I wish I could tell her that patience has to be learned and cultivated, just like anything else we need to be good at. That love, when it comes, must be nurtured otherwise it will wither and die. That taking it for granted or throwing it away in a fit of pique will be the greatest waste of potential she will suffer.

If I could meet my teenage self I would tell her that throughout her life she will have doubts and fears but that all of these are normal- it shows that she cares. I would also instill in her the importance of giving more than taking. But not to be taken advantage of. Alongside that I would stress that she will be treated as she treats others, so she will need to be careful of what she projects.

I would want her to understand that being judgemental will prevent her from meeting incredible people, and will narrow her world in ways she cannot imagine. I would tell her that everything matters- from wasting money, time and resources, to taking care of nature and people alike. I would expect her to be generous with her community- whoever and wherever and that may be. Because charity does begin at home, and that love spreads.

I would show her what a privilege it is to be alive at this moment in time. Because she can learn from her elders and new generation in equal measure. And have the freedom to travel and be whoever she wants to be, the most extraordinary gifts a person can be bestowed.

I would guide her to act like a lady and think like a man. That is to say, use the greatest assets from both genres in order to make a positive impact not just on her world, but that of others. I would want her to know that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and hues, but inner beauty is the one that matters most.

I would also ensure that she knew that it would never be too late to get fit, find love, do something she'd think unachievable and be surprised. In fact, I would tell her that she needs to always keep her eyes and heart open because every day should bring a surprise and also something new to learn. And if that isn't the case, she needs to look harder.

I would let my teenage self know that envy, revenge and regrets have absolutely no place in her life and are just an unnecessary waste of energy. These are heavy burdens to weigh her heart down with. That the more positivity she projects, the more that will come back. I would beg her not to waste time bandaging her emotional wounds with damaging drugs, damaged people and repetitive self destructive patterns. But I would also let her know that these would be something she may have to go through in order to grow and heal.

Lifestyle Cabarete Tiny pirate Blog Claudia Batchelor Teenage SelfLifestyle Cabarete Tiny pirate Blog Claudia Batchelor Teenage SelfLifestyle Cabarete Tiny pirate Blog Claudia Batchelor Teenage Self

I would tell her that everything would be ok in the end, and she will come out of the other side with more love, empathy and compassion that she possessed before. And I would ensure she didn't ever lose her Latin roots and passion- even if that meant it would alienate some. Because it's ok not to be universally liked.

I would like her to be equipped to deal with the challenges life throws at everyone. And make her appreciate that at some point she will be the biggest pain in the ar*e and annoying b*tch on the planet. No one is perfect. In which case she needs to apologise and learn a less combative way to deal with issues. And regardless of what is happening, at all times she should be grateful and say thank you because manners are the thing that show class. Regardless of your background or financial status. And under no circumstances should she ever blame anyone else for where she ends up, because she will be fully responsible for whatever happens to her. I will not allow her to become a victim.

I would also encourage a sense of risk and recklessness- because by pushing boundaries she will learn where her limits are. And I would tell her she should follow her heart even if her head is saying something differently. She is a Pisces- emotions will always rule her soul so there is no point in fighting it. This will transcend to relationships, as I would ask that she try always to be a great daughter, friend and lover. And teach her that there is more than one way to be a mum. And whilst sex and love are separate entities, experimenting will be amazing fun but sex with love is the thing her emotive Piscean will always want to aspire to.

Most of all, I would tell her never to give up on herself even when others have, and to live an honest life. Because as long as she can sleep at night every day will bring new opportunities to be a better person. And finally, I would tell her that in the end, love really is the thing that matters most. Love will get her through the best of times, the worst of times and should be used excessively throughout. And only by loving life will this bring her the greatest adventures and achievements she could ever hope to imagine.

I think that sometimes we forget to talk to ourselves, because we are so busy living that we don't have time to stop and see where we're at. And it sometimes takes something jolting us back into the present to make us take a reality check. So I encourage you to have a chat with our teenage self. Because they are a useful part of us which can help to remind us what the important bits are, and readjust accordingly.

Toodle pip until next time!

Claud ☺ X <3

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